I know my mind goes way too far.  I cannot help it.  I hope it is a sign of intelligence.  But, more likely, it is my warped humor.  Maybe I have a touch of hyperactivity that prevents me from stopping myself.  On the plus side, I get a great laugh while hoping the people around me find it funny, too.  Today was a close one.

This morning, I did not know the date.  I innocently asked the lovely older lady next to me if today was March 1st?  She replied that it was not.  It was, indeed, the 28th of February.  Great!  I gained a day!  I love when that happens!

Here is where I would like to stop and remind you that SHE continued the conversation.  I was willing to be content with her response and to continue on my way.

She then asked me, “Do you know how I know it is only the 28th, and not the 1st?”  OK.  I will bite but I refused to guess since I cannot win (another problem I have).

“How so?” I asked the sweet older lady who is probably going to tell me something weird.

“Tomorrow, March 1st, is my son’s birthday and my second son’s birthday is March 2nd!” she told me with pride.  Hmm.  Not weird, but interesting.  “AND,” she continued, “my third child was born in March, too!”

CLOSE THE DOOR!

Here is where my mind started racing.  How can this be?  The laws of probability have been broken!  (I did the math in my head – I told you I was intelligent.)  And here is where I just could not help myself – even if I wanted to.  “When is your anniversary?” I blurted out to this kind stranger, whom I have just met and I am now prying into her private life.

“In June,” she hesitantly told me as I believed her eyes are scanning the room for a quick exit – if need be.  Again, I did the math.  This time, not in my head, but loudly on my fingers.

“June, July, August, September”……finger nine…..”MARCH!!!!”

“You had anniversary babies!” I shouted.  Yes, little lady.  The jig is up!  You had SEX on your anniversary – regularly!  AND, now, everyone around us knows it, you petite harlot!!!  She blushed.

Then the regret set in.  I had to ask myself – are you proud of yourself, Jessica Fletcher?  You just outed a sweet, older lady who was just looking for small talk.  I had to take it all the way to the basement and imply she did the dirty deed with her dear husband.  I was then cringing, even said a quick “please, Lord” while waiting for a response.

“YES!  That is exactly it!!!!  And the first time we were in Hawaii!” she shouted back – even more loud than I!  She proudly owned it!  I love her!  I laughed.  She laughed.  I dodged a bullet.  I knew it.  I gave God a whispered “thank You” and the sweet lady and I parted ways.

Humor is always a pearl.  My advice, do not push it too far.  I think I will pull it back a little.  Just for a short time.  If my mind lets me!