My junior year at Indiana University, I was living in a quaint white house with my best college friends.  I loved my college years, that white house, and Bloomington.  I arrived for my fall semester two weeks early.  During that two week party binge, I contracted non-infectious hepatitis from contaminated food.  It blew up my liver to three times its normal size.  I was young and healthy, and I made it through just fine.  However, since then, drinking alcohol has become like navigating a minefield.

After many trials over many years, I discover that my liver can only tolerate vodka or a good red wine.  If I drink anything else, I regret it with a bad stomach ache.  But darn it, I want to get buzzed on the newest microbrew or few Vegas Bombs once in a while!  Kind of a bummer.

A couple years ago, I was invited to an outdoor Halloween costume party in a pole barn.  It was a blast!  One of my friends offered me a shot of Patron tequila.  I downed the shot while my husband looked on with his head shaking.  “Why are you doing this?” shouted his glare to me.  Fifteen minutes later, I did not feel anything!  So I had another shot.  And another.  I was feeling great!  No pain and total control of my faculties.  In fact, I am the life of the party out on the dance floor!  I had moves that rivaled Beyoncé!  I did not feel pain, I did not even think I was buzzed!  Another shot.  Another shot.  “I found my new drink – tequila!” I shouted to my friends.  They laughed!  I danced the night away.

Then I walked back to the car.  Holy moly – my head was spinning.  My stomach ached.  My mouth had trouble forming words.  My peaceful, fun, and in-control state of mind went bye-bye.  This was going to get UGLY.  And it did.  From both ends volcanos erupted.  I spent the night on the bathroom floor pleading to sweet Jesus for mercy.  I was bedridden for the whole next day.  For several days, my pores oozed tequila as a stinky reminder of my foolishness.

So, tequila was a pearl that lasted just a few hours.  Then it bit me hard!  I love the song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off because it makes me feel like part of a club.  It is the “you do not control tequila – tequila controls you” club.  I’m a lifetime member.  Tequila will never hit my lips again.

For you, is tequila a pearl or not?

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash