Colin Kaepernick – From the Eyes of Two Little Girls

/ Micki

hugging

This is the Colin Kaepernick controversy as perceived by two little girls.

First girl, Micki.  Micki grew up in a white middle class blue collar family with both parents and siblings.  Micki’s dad was an electrician in the steel mill.  He is also a World War II veteran.  Micki is extremely proud of her dad, his valor, and the meaning of freedom and the American flag.  Colin Kaepernick’s taking a knee makes Micki feel sad and even angry.  She feels it is a snub to her father and all veterans who fought for the flag.  Micki is entitled to those feelings and they are legitimate.

Second girl, Kendra.  Kendra grew up in a black middle class family with both parents and siblings.  Kendra’s dad was a scrapper in the steel mill because, back in his day, black men were not allowed to hold the skilled jobs.  Kendra’s brother fought in Vietnam and she also appreciates veterans and the sacrifice for freedom.  But Kendra, her parents, and her siblings have felt the mighty wounds of racism.  From not being allowed certain jobs, to being called the N-word, to being followed in stores, and to even fearing being misidentified by law enforcement as a criminal, are just a few of the realities they face.  Colin Kaepernick taking a knee makes Kendra feel happy, even elated, that a public figure is making a stand against racism that still exists.  Kendra is entitled to those feelings and they are legitimate.

Now can you see that the way you feel about the “taking of the knee” is deeply rooted in your past experiences?  Now can you see that there are two sides to this issue?  Now can you see that they are both legitimate?  Can you see that both the little girl inside of Micki and the little girl inside of Kendra feels stirred and protective of her family?

We are so much alike, yet even today we are blinded by color.  Can we all just please calm down and put ourselves in each other’s shoes.  Can we please stop denying that racism still exists.  Can we please acknowledge that everyone can do better and stop pointing fingers at each other.  Can we strive to do better because all American children deserve better.

God bless us all, and may the Holy Spirit fill our hearts so that we may see and listen to each other.  Amen.

Should I Pay My Kid’s Student Loans?

/ Micki

colin-maynard-231363-unsplash

Three boys. Three boys went to college.  Three boys with student debt.  What does a parent, like me, do?

The average student debt is $40,000 and 40 million young adults have student debt.  Student debt is a common reality.  My first piece of advice is to encourage our graduates to take the debt seriously.  The faster they pay it off, the sooner they will be unencumbered to go the next step, such as buying a home.  Any time they get a bonus at work, a tax refund, or a pay raise, we should suggest that they make an extra payment.  Extra payments can save them thousands of dollars of interest over the life of the loan and decreases the duration of the loan.  Also, I recommend helping our graduates create a monthly budget with an emphasis on paying the student loans on time.

As a parent, should we pay off their debt or make their monthly payments?  In my opinion as a financial advisor, the answer is – NO!  Especially no if making the payment would jeopardize our own retirement.  There is no greater gift a parent can give a child than to be financially secure in our own retirement.  The airline analogy of putting on our oxygen masks before we assist the children comes to mind.  It makes no sense to help with student debt if we only turn around and ask for their help down the road.

Additionally, student debt is a valuable learning tool.  Our young adult will learn what it means to have debt, how interest works, and how to budget.  Student debt can motivate good work habits and can actually build esteem.  Giving our children everything and eliminating serious responsibility can stifle their own progress to grow into strong and successful adults.

If you would like to help your graduate with the debt, I suggest a matching deal.  For example, if they pay $100 a month, you will match that amount, or a portion thereof, that fits your budget.  Using this technique, they still have the learning experience and motivation that paying debt brings.  Again, make sure you do not implode your own financial plan and that you can truly afford it.

In my case, I have to keep in mind that I will have three graduates.  I should not start a routine of helping the first graduate if I am not sure that I can help each one fairly.  This is another reason why I would put a pause on jumping in and paying your kid’s debt.  As parents, we can help down the road when the picture is clearer.  Our help does not have to start on day one.

Finally, if your graduate expresses disappointment that you are refraining from paying their debt, blame The Pearl Chaser!  I do not mind!  Tell them a very smart, sophisticated, funny, successful, pretty, and humble financial expert (no, not Suze Orman!) told you that it was not in their best interest to make their payments at this time.  Let’s put a pause on bailing our kids out of responsibility at every turn.  True love sometimes involves saying “not now.”

 

Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash

My Son, Vietnam, and Karaoke

/ Micki / 6 Comments

ruslan-bardash-361952-unsplash

“My son left for Vietnam!”  I find it surreal that I have been saying that sentence.  I am old enough to remember exactly how devastating that phrase would be coming from a mom in the early 1970’s.  When I say it now, it is with joy and pride that my son, AJ, is experiencing a summer externship at a law firm in Hanoi, sponsored by Indiana University Law School.

Yet, traveling across the world into a new country, new culture, new language, I had my worries.  My heart felt concerned dropping AJ off.  Would my son fit in?  Would he be lonely and feel isolated?  Would he be homesick and starving?  Would he ask to come home?

Ah, quite the contrary.

First of all, the trip there went smooth as French silk pie. (If you know me, there was bound to be a food reference sometime!)  No problems at the airports or getting to his hotel.  AJ slept well in a nice bed in an air conditioned room.  The free breakfast was an impressive dish of eggs and ham.  The walk to work is a short one block.

The first day went well and AJ was invited to dinner out with his new Vietnamese mentors.  AJ’s first impression was the deep comradery his colleagues had for each other, and how friendly and generous they were to him.  “We drank like fish and ate like hogs!”  Beef, pork, chicken, and frog legs!  Beer and vodka!  They laughed and told stories.  But the most interesting of all – they sang karaoke!

I have never seen AJ karaoke!  How fun!  And as you know, karaoke is a rather intimidating activity.  AJ must have been relaxed and enjoying the moment to get up and sing.  Shut up, I know he must have been drunk, too!  And what does an American young man sing to a Vietnamese crowd?  Hotel California, Country Roads, and The Gambler!  What a fine mix of songs!  AJ said they loved it!

Sitting here and writing this, I feel a deep sense of contentment and gratitude.  How wonderful a world we live in!  Strangers from across the globe are welcoming my son in such a generous manner.  It confirms just how much alike people are – no matter where we live or what we look like.  Goodness is in our spirit and souls.

And, yes, it is universal.  Everyone loves AJ!  My precious pearl.

 

Photo by Ruslan Bardash on Unsplash

 

A “Friendly” Pearl

/ Micki

young and old

I do not remember where I heard this pearl.  I know it was at least twenty years ago.  From The Oprah Winfrey Show?  Maybe.  From the wise Deepak Chopra?  Possibly.  From the Holy Bible?  I do not think so, but I am pretty sure Jesus would agree.  Someone once told me:

MAKE FRIENDS FROM ALL AGE GROUPS!

It does not matter where I learned this because they sure were right! For different reasons I have found my friendships with the older and the younger very rewarding.  Let me share what I have experienced.

The Younger

Let’s face it.  Younger people are fun!  They love to laugh!  Everything is funny and they do not take things too seriously.  They say things in a way that I do not fully understand but I wish I did.  Today’s youth are so savvy with technology and their worlds are big. They have not been jaded by heavy responsibilities, serious loss, or too many hard knocks.  Their hearts are light, their fun is a priority, and their outlook is positive.

Yes, hanging out with your juniors will put you in a great mood.  One caution.  Do not listen too intently.  They will make some pretty far-out comments, and you may want to jump in and correct their flawed logic.  Do not.  You are not their parent.  Offer your insight only when asked, or only with extreme discretion.  You do not want to become the “old wet rag” friend.  You may find yourself ousted and that defeats the whole purpose.  And very often, your younger friends will teach you a thing or two.

The Older

Without a doubt, our elders are wise. When I want sage advice, I turn to one of my older friends.  If they did not have the same problem, someone they know did.  They provide valuable insight with real life experience.  The older generation will also teach you not to worry too much.  They will show you that they have experienced heavy responsibilities, serious loss, and many hard knocks, and they have made it through.  They are living testaments that life goes on.

Yes, hanging out with your seniors will make you wiser.  But guess what?  Older people are fun, too!  They love to laugh and they have re-learned to not take things so seriously.  They may not be technologically savvy, but they have solved problems with great creativity.  They are not shy, they are straight-shooters, and they tell wonderful love stories.  One caution.  Do not make too many far-out comments in their company.  You do not want to become the “silly whippersnapper” friend.  You may get ousted and that defeats the whole purpose.  For sure, your older friends will teach you a thing or two.

I am currently a representative of someone in the middle group.  We have the most to learn from the young and old.  I find us “middlers” worrying too much, being too serious, and losing our zest for fun and laughter.  It is ironic that the young and the old know how to live best.  Somehow us “middlers” lose our way, but then we find it again.  Having many friends of all ages will help you keep your sparkle.

Who would not want that pearl?

And the Pearl is…

/ Micki / 2 Comments

ganapathy-kumar-492879-unsplash

Something has recently dawned on me. It took me fifty years to have thought about this.  Before then, it just glazed over me without being questioned.  It is the word – EXPERT.  I was watching a commercial and a young thirty-something whippersnapper declared he was a so-and-so expert at such-in-such.  Jump back.  Says who?

That is the thing.  I have come to realize you are what you say you are.  So, I am going to make a proclamation!  I am an expert at large dinner parties!  Yep.  I have been entertaining large groups – usually my family – for thirty years.  I have watched hundreds of food shows, viewed and tried hundreds of recipes, and hosted a hundred parties.  No doubt, I am an expert.  So as an expert, I have my secrets to success!  Today’s pearl is how to plan the perfect party!

First and foremost, figure out what your guests are good at making and ask them to bring it to the party!  Ah c’mon.  That is not cheating!  When my niece says, “Aunt Micki, you make the best banana pudding.  Could you bring some to my party?” – you do not think my heart is melting, and I am bringing banana pudding come hell or high water!  So, you are actually complimenting your guest by asking them to bring their signature dish.  That is my tip and I am sticking to it!

Second tip.  Always make some dishes in advance.  This is a biggie and huge time and life saver.  Refrigerator mashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes, baked beans, pasta salads, and most desserts can be made ahead of time.  So can appetizers like salsa, cheese and meats, and dips.  Do not leave making everything to the day of the party!

Third tip.  Always purchase one of your courses already done.  For example.  Buy a nice dessert from a store or bakery.  Everyone loves delicious bundt cake or fancy cupcakes.  Pies are fine and so is ice cream with a nice chocolate topping or cut-in-advanced strawberries.  If you have dessert already nailed down, then buy the appetizer.  Love me a cheese, meat, and olive tray.  Or a nice fruit salad.  Or a fresh cut-up veggie tray.  Let the local store or bakery help you with the party.

Finally.  Do not fret, or get nervous, or worry too much.  It makes no sense to do so.  These days, I am totally impressed when someone invites me over – period.  Hand me a drink and a cheese and cracker and you have already met my expectations!  Get-togethers and parties are special because of the laughs, the time spent together, and the memories created.  The food and drinks are the supporting pearls.

So, in summary, the secret to a successful party is to ask for help, to make in advance, to buy pre-made, and to relax and have FUN!  And since I am a self-declared expert, you will be hearing more about my entertaining  pearls.  If you would like for me to consult on your upcoming party – please do not hesitate to ask me – with my invitation in your hand.  I will bring something!!!  HAHA!

Happy Party!

Photo by Collin Armstrong on Unsplash

The Best April Fools Joke!

/ Micki / 4 Comments

Getting fooled by a well-crafted and outrageous April Fools joke is exhilarating!  That happened to me last year.  The mastermind was my sister JoAnn.  She had every detail and angle sewn up.  She knew my weak spot and pounced.  I will never forget it.  I believe it is the best April Fools joke ever.  She is my hero.

First, JoAnn started her ruse early in the morning.  Just like D-day, she knew I would have brain fog when she stormed my beach.  I did not even have my coffee yet.  Second, she tugged at my heartstrings.  So evil.  She was the big bad wolf dressed like sweet granny.  This is what she texted me:

Micki.  In order to encourage Dad to keep going and to pick up his spirits, I dyed dad’s hair black like he had when he was a kid.  He loves it!  Come over and see it!

Are you kidding me????  My mind started racing.  My heart started pounding.  My eyes began to water.  My sister defiled my Dad!!!  I never knew him without his gray hair.  He is 93 years old, for goodness sakes!  Dark hair will look crazy!  And then this totally dawned on me and my heart sank to my knees:

WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF DAD’S ROOTS!!!!  

Yep.  His roots.  His roots were my biggest concern.  But hey.  My roots are my biggest concern, and now my Dad will have black hair and white roots in a matter of days!   What was JoAnn thinking?  Why did she not ask us sisters first?

With that one foolish unilateral act, my anger began to grow toward my sister.  She is the dumbest human to walk the planet.  In what world was that a good idea?  And, do not give me the “dad likes it” crap.  Dad is not the one who will have to take care of it, or look at its ridiculousness as we speak.  She made Dad into a laughing stock monster.

I then received the following text:

IMG_1801

I wanted to laugh.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to punch JoAnn.  Brilliant.  She got me.  She got me good.  I will never be that clever.  She is my hero.

I come from a family of clowns.  Not literally.  But my mom was funny and she passed it down.  Life is better with humor.  Humor is one big pearl.

For the second part of the story.  JoAnn calls me this morning.  She tells me this:

“Dad’s neighbor, George, works at the Lincoln Park Zoo.  He brought home two monkeys dressed in bunny ears and carrying Easter baskets.  They are hilarious!  He must of brought them home for the grandkids.  Anyway, they will only be here a few hours.  Come over and see them!”

Oh no, you big Bozo!  Do you honestly think I forgot about last year?  No way.  I did not bite.  But my sister, Betsy, did!  And hearing about Betsy’s reaction had me crying.  Betsy instructed JoAnn not to bring bananas without asking George first.  Monkeys can get frenzied if you show them something they cannot have, she warned!  That’s right.  I went to roots and Betsy went to banana frenzy!

Again, JoAnn is my hero.

Holy Week Memories

/ Micki / 19 Comments

ricardo-gomez-angel-367741-unsplash

One of the things I miss about my childhood is Holy Week.  I attended a rather strict Catholic grade school.  We went to Mass everyday during the school year.  So, you can imagine, Lent required strict observances.  Looking back, these traditions and rituals  were very interesting and they created continuity.  I celebrated Easter the EXACT same way my parents did when they were kids.  And best of all, I did feel holy and close to God during the Easter season.

My family’s church, Saint Mary’s Nativity, was built by the Joliet Croatians.  My grandma was a student in the first class of the church’s school.  It was common for your name to end in “ICH” or “IC”.  It was common to come from a large family.  It was common for your dad to work at the steel mill, the gas or electric companies, or other blue collar jobs.  We Croatians were loving, faith-filled, do-anything-for-you, friendly families.  It was a great community.  We had our own special food, music, dancing, drinks, and prayers.  It was neat to have so much in common.

I remember being taught by the priests and sisters that Easter was the most holy holiday, and that we should anticipate it more than any other holiday.  I secretly felt bad because I liked Christmas much better.  Christmas was happy and upbeat.  Easter was solemn and sacrificing.  Christmas was singing Little Drummer Boy, while Easter was singing Were You There When They Crucified Our Lord?  That is just too much sadness for a first grader.  We also did the Stations of the Cross every Friday during Lent.  My knees would kill me from kneeling for an hour.  I always felt I would have been Veronica, who wiped the face of Jesus, if I lived back then.  Easter really made me think deeply.

On Thursday of Holy Week our class would have to go back to church for an hour in the afternoon and pray the Rosary and go to Confession.  On Good Friday, we did not have school.  My mom would have us turn off the TV and radio and be silent from noon until three o’clock – the time Jesus spent on the Cross.  That evening would then go back to Church for another Stations and to kiss the Cross.  I remember how fascinating it was to watch grown men and women get down on their hands and knees to kiss the Cross on the alter steps.  I saw how real their feelings of devotion were.  It made a huge impression.

Easter had some joyful events, too. Croatian families would traditionally make their own special Easter sausage and a wonderful sweet walnut roll called potica.  We also colored eggs and put out our Easter baskets.  On Easter Saturday, my mom would wrap up the sausages, the potica, the colored eggs, and the ham and put it in her special basket with a lovely cloth on top.  Back again to Church to have our basket blessed.  I would check out the other baskets and, of course, ours was the best.  Easter Sunday meal, after Mass, we would eat the food that was blessed in the basket.  From Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday, I was in the church everyday contemplating Jesus’ death and resurrection.

I find myself missing those simpler times.  My old church is now Mexican families from the local neighborhood and devoted long-standing parishioners.  The school kids only attend Mass weekly.  The Lenten traditions that do remain seem to be more of a “if you want to” kind of a deal.  Sad, but my kids cannot say that they celebrated Easter the EXACT same way that I did.

The pearl in all this is to try to keep some traditions.  At Easter and Christmas, or any holiday that your faith observes, traditions are comforting.  Traditions bind the past and the future.  When they stop, there seems to be a void.  And the memories they make are priceless.  I treasure my Holy Week memories, and I wish I was in the kitchen right now watching my mom make potica.  She knew how to keep traditions.

God Bless you and your family this Easter.

 

IMG_1548

Saint Mary’s Nativity

 

Window photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

How to Get What You Want

/ Micki

honeymooner

Can you keep a secret?  I mean, really keep a secret?  I ask because the pearl I am about to give you only works when you are in stealth mode.  You must want it.  Really want it.  Want it enough to protect this pearl.  If this pearl gets revealed – it no longer works.  And when that happens, it is a loss.  A big loss.  I know because I had it, and lost it.  My giddiness of owning this pearl led to its demise.

This pearl is a strategy to get what you want.  REPEAT.  This pearl is a strategy to get what you want.  Did I get your eyes to open just a bit wider in anticipation?  Or are you a skeptic, giving me the stink eye?  Just hear me out.  This pearl, when used on children, is a wonderful parenting strategy.  However, this pearl, when used on adults (especially your spouse) can come off as manipulation.  So, you must to use extreme discretion.  That is where I fell a little short.

Power struggles are a challenge when raising children.  Children want control.  Little humans, like the big humans, do not always like to be told what to do.  This pearl strategy is to give children two choices in which both outcomes are desirable.  For example.  You tell little Susie that it is time to go to bed – she throws a fit.  You ask Susie if she wants to read Doctor Seuss or Goodnight Moon in bed – she will skip to slumber with the book of her desire.  In the second scenario, Susie has the illusion of control.  Being able to make just a simple choice in her world is all she needs to be happy.  Jimmy, do you want an apple or string cheese for a snack?  Pete, do you want to pick up your toys before or after lunch?  You get the picture.

Using this strategy on adults is a bit more risky.  It works, but I recommend that you use it sparingly.  This perfect parenting strategy can come off as a ruse as the subject gets older.  In my euphoria of “getting what I want” with my very young boys, I used the strategy one too many times on my husband.  He exploded the night I asked if he wanted to load the dishwasher or give the kids a bath – right after I asked him if he wanted to take the dog out or wash the table.  My mild-mannered husband turned into Ralph Kramden in one split second!  He declared that he was not a three year old, and to cool it on the “this or that” crap!  To the moon, Micki – is where I was told to go!

My husband was right.  I got greedy.  I got too big for my britches.  I did not protect my strategy.  I used it willy-nilly and I got exposed.  I was young then.  I am much wiser now.  All humor aside, this pearl probably should stay a parenting strategy.  As I get older, getting what I want is not “fun” if I have to be sneaky and manipulative.  In fact, getting what I want is not even what I want anymore!

As I mature I realize the real pearl is not to get what you want, but to get what you need!  Agree?

Salad Making 101

/ Micki / 1 Comment

Red-Leaf-Lettuce-Salad-949x534px

I have accomplished a few things which bring me pride.  I completed an MBA degree.  I gave birth three times.  I passed the security license exams.  I achieved a 3.5 USTA tennis ranking.  And, I created this goofy blog.  None of these were easy – some came close to killing me!  Despite these achievements, many of my friends and family think my best skill is making a great salad.  Really???

Please do not think I am snobby or ungrateful.  But being known for great salad making is like being known for great bunco or bingo playing.  NO SKILL REQUIRED.  Salad making is the same – no skill and all confidence and finesse.  When I bring a salad to a party and someone asks me for the recipe, it blows my mind!  Salad is not chocolate soufflé or apple strudel that takes a fine-tuned recipe and years of experience to perfect.  Salad is a “throw whatever you have in the fridge” kind of thing.

A memorable salad, like the one in the picture above, follows the general rules for making an interesting and tasty salad.  Remember these steps and you will never need a recipe, and you will be a great salad maker, too.

  1. Start with a good base of greens.  I admit I am a lettuce snob and never buy bagged lettuce.  But that is because I am cheap.  Fresh lettuce lasts longer in the fridge and tastes better.  I love romaine, red and green leaf, boston, and bibb lettuce.  I tend to mix the lettuce with baby spinach or arugula.  Rinse salad greens in cold water, shake well to dry as much as you can, and cut with a knife.  So easy!
  2. Pick one or two (or many) vegetables.  Peppers, cucumbers, avocado, celery, onion,  tomato, carrots, beets, mushrooms and olives are usually my top choices.
  3. Pick a fruit.  Yes!  Half of my salads contain a fruit.  Berries, grapes, apples, pears, nectarines and peaches are great fresh choices when in season.  Cherries, cranberries, dates, and raisins are good dried choices.  I love the touch of sweetness in my salad.
  4. Pick a nut.  Who does not like nuts?  Walnuts, almonds, pecans, pine, cashews, and pistachios regularly make an appearance in my salads.  Nuts add richness.
  5. Pick a cheese.  All my salads are sprinkled with grated cheese.  Feta, blue, Swiss, cheddar, parmesan, goat…..  They are all great!
  6. A little salt and ground pepper.

The salad in the photo above is one of my favorites.  Peaches, avocado, walnut, corn, and feta cheese.   As you make more salads, you will gain the confidence to just browse the fridge and throw it in.  Add chicken, steak, shrimp, tuna, egg, or salmon and you have a light meal.  Have you ever really had a terrible salad?  Probably not.  You just had a boring one.

Finally – the dressing.  Easy as the salad.  There are some awesome bottled salad dressings.  I buy them when they are on sale.  But I always can make a great dressing with these four ingredients.  1/2 cup olive oil.  1/4 cup red wine vinegar,  tablespoon of Dijon mustard, a tablespoon of honey.  Whisk.  Voila!

Here are my favorite salad topping combinations to help you get started.

  • Classic American:  cucumber, pepper, tomato, bacon, cheddar cheese, walnuts.
  • Winter:  apples, pears, dried cranberries, Swiss, and cashews
  • Greek:  cucumber, peppers, red onion, tomato, black olives, feta cheese, and garlic
  • Asian:  mandarin orange, red pepper, carrot, purple cabbage, green onion, almonds
  • Tex Mex:  black beans, corn, avocado, red pepper, cilantro, tomatoes, feta
  • My favorite: beets, red onion, dried cherries, blue cheese, walnuts

The combinations of great salad toppings are endless.  A recipe is not really needed.  You can browse the internet for ideas.  Do not ditch a salad just because you are missing one ingredient.  I promise, no one will notice.  In fact, my husband has been asking me for a “simple” salad lately.  What is that?  Lettuce, tomato, and feta.  Or lettuce, blueberries, blue cheese and pecans.  Two or three topping is sometimes all you need!

How do you elevate a salad?  Add a few of the following – seeds, chopped herbs, homemade croutons, tiny pasta, capers, or meats like salami and prosciutto.  Also, try flavored olive oils and vinaigrettes.  Fun!  Fun!  Fun!

I really do love salads. They are the pearl earrings to any meal, if not the meal itself!  I would love to hear your favorite salad combination!

 

Photo: Matthew Benson and Salad: Cara Mangini

Movie Tuesday! – an Update

/ Micki / 7 Comments

conner-murphy-363916-unsplash

This is an update to my original post.

I very often catch myself in a rut.  I move through the days, especially in the winter, on what seems to be auto-pilot.  I don’t make plans to go outside, I don’t make plans to do a project – heck, Christmas just ended!  The dark mornings turn into the dark afternoons in a matter of hours.  The monotony starts to make me hate winter.

Cue Movie Tuesday!  I forget that movies are greatly discounted on Tuesdays – all day!  By me, they are $5.50!  In Woodside, they are only $4.25!  Nothing like seeing a movie on the big screen.  Ironically, when I saw “The Greatest Showman” last Tuesday, Hugh Jackman personally (well, on the screen) thanked the audience for coming to the movies – the old fashioned way.  Anything for you, Hugh!

This winter I saw these Tuesday movies:

  • The Greatest Showman
  • The Post
  • The Darkest Hour
  • Ladybird
  • I, Tanya
  • Peter Rabbit
  • Three Billboards outside Ebbing Missouri

I would say that Movie Tuesday was a huge pearl for me!  I had something very fun to look forward to on an otherwise boring day.  I even went by myself to two of the movies and it was more than fine!  I either liked or loved all the movies I saw.  Movie Tuesday is a keeper!

If you would ever care to join me, please, please, please contact me!!!

 

Photo by Conner Murphy on Unsplash

 

Let Me Think About It.

/ Micki / 2 Comments

“Let me think about it.”

These are words we need to get comfortable using.  How many times did “yes” roll off your tongue only to regret it later?  How many times was that “yes” a HUGE “yes”?  And not only did you regret it, but stress crept deep into your bones over the commitment you just made in haste?

Does saying “let me think about it” make you feel uneasy?  Guilty?  It should never feel wrong to put yourself first when it comes to making a commitment.  Only you can gauge what you have time for and what opportunities are right for the limited time you have.  It is perfectly appropriate to ask for a short period of time to evaluate your priorities, availability, and resources. There is no commandment that says “Thou must always say yes.” Instead, it is a blessing to give of your time doing what is most important to you.

What is the problem with saying “yes” when you really needed to say “no”?   It creates a resentful aura around you that is not fair to yourself or to the receiver.  When you give, it should be happily, so it creates genuine joy for you and the other person.

If you are asking for a commitment from someone, accept a “let me think about it” response.  It is not fair to expect an automatic “yes.”  If you do expect a “yes” and are offended by a “no” or “let me think about it” response, that is a problem.  It may be self-centered to have such high expectations.  Very rarely does someone owe us blindly.

“Let me think about it.”

This a statement of self love, and it is quite a pearl.  Learning to say it with confidence is a gift to yourself.

Photo by Rob Schreckhise on Unsplash

Pearl Chaser Down II

/ Micki

daniel-sandoval-433000-unsplash

So, you know I have been sick.  At first it presented as a terrible head cold.  Then, day five, it felt like I have been punched in the face.  I could not breathe and the sinus pressure was incredible  The cold also descended into my chest.  It hurt.  My glands in my neck blew up.  I swear I looked like the Mucinex Man.  I went to Urgent Care in a pony tail and my slippers at 8:45 last night.  I got an antibiotic.  I will be fine soon.

The point of this post?  I LOST MY TASTE BUDS!!!!!  Are you kidding me?  This has never happened to me before.  It is just crazy!  CRAZY!  Maybe this is blowing my mind because I value the taste of food above my own children.  Strike that.  Below my children, above my siblings.  HAHA.

Yesterday is when “Taste Bud Gate” started.  I ate a hamburger and tasted NOTHING.  Weird because it had everything on it.  Mustard, ketchup, mayo, tomato, pickle, even onion.  I was not feeling very well, so I blew it off.  Too tired to care.  In fact, I passed on a Klondike bar because I figured I could not taste it anyway.  You think I would be thrilled.

But this morning I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I’m chewing and tasting NOTHING.  I could not tell you if I was eating peanut butter or liverwurst.  I could not tell the flavor of the jelly.  It was strawberry, but it could have been pickled herring! Not only do I not taste it, but I could not even tell you if I was eating something sweet, salty, bitter, or even Cajun!  Now, I am getting a little irritated.  No.  Very irritated!  So much so, I had to write about it!!!

I ask myself – “what is the silver lining?”  Well, I never knew how horrible it is to be unable to taste.  If you, or someone you know, suffers from this, I am truly sorry.  Dare I say, this is very HELLISH.  I am even having a slight panic attack that it my taste buds will not return.  Sayonara!  They left to go south to better weather!

You see, taste buds are a wonderful pearl I have taken for granted.  From out of nowhere, I have had a profound realization.  An ah-ha moment.  Something as gross as the bumps on my tongue are as valuable as a mouth full of gems!

Please, let me know if you find my taste buds.   They are in BIG trouble!

Photo by Daniel Sandoval on Unsplash

Money Pearl

/ Micki

Should I have done a financial planning blog?  Oh, God, no.  First, I would have to submit all my posts to my company’s compliance department to make sure the “disclosures” are in place.  They go like this:  Past performance does not guarantee future performance – not FDIC insured.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Nothing ruins a good post quicker than some fancy legalize!  Second reason – financial planning is just not funny!  It is BORING – yet necessary.  However, I do wish to express some of my thoughts in the hope that it may help someone.

The most important thing for you to know:  Your biggest risk when doing your financial planning is not the volatility of the market.  I acknowledge  that the ups and downs can be intimidating.  But the truth is, you must get over your fear now.  Not being in the market is your biggest risk!  Most people do not have their money working hard enough for them.  It is very probable that unless your money is earning you dividends and interest, you may not have enough of a nest egg to make it through retirement.  And plan on either you or your spouse living to at least 95.

Are you afraid that you will lose everything?  Do you have too much of your savings in the bank earning next to nothing?  If so, I strongly urge you to do some additional research.  Don’t take my word only – but you will find out that I am right.   You have worked hard for your money and it needs to work hard for you.

I like to share this: 

You put your money in the bank and the bank gives you 1%.  What do you think the bank is doing with your money?  They either lend it out and make 5%, or they invest it and make 5%.  How nice and convenient for the bank!  Why should the bank get what could be yours? 

How do you give yourself peace of mind and get over the fear?  It starts with having some of your money in the bank.  This is your emergency fund.  Then you begin to invest the rest in a well diversified portfolio appropriate for your age, risk tolerance, and life goals.  You need to go to an advisor that is a fiduciary or get a really great grasp on investing.  A good advisor probably will earn you more than what you can do yourself, which should cover their fee and then some.  Plus, advisors have access to research that the average person does not have the time or expertise to get on their own.

Jeez, I am starting to realize there may be some things I may want to share with you in a future post.  For example, what is an appropriate fee for an advisor to charge?  What is an appropriate expense for your portfolio to charge?  Do you need a trust?  Should you fund a Roth IRA?  Can you time the market?  And lots more.  Damn, I guess their is more to life than the best banana pudding!

If you found this helpful and you would like me to post more about financial planning, let me know.  If you have a specific question, feel free to ask me.  I love to help people because someone helped me.  There is no better pearl than having the peace of mind that you are doing all you can to have a nice retirement.

Happy planning!

Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

Pearl Chaser Down

/ Micki / 10 Comments

cris-saur-122006-unsplash

It was only a matter of time, right?  It was inevitable.  Bound to happen.  All sewn up. Open and shut.  Met my Waterloo.  Yes.  I caught the flu.

I made it all the way to March 9th.  I washed my hands at every sink.  Stopped at the sanitize dispenser every time I passed.  Clorox wiped every shopping cart.  Rested. Exercised.  Stayed hydrated.  Ate well.

But, no.  That little bugger (literally) found me.  Laughed at me and my OCD behavior as it rode my nostril passages like a slide at the water park.  And now I am down.

What does the Pearl Chaser do when she has been cut off at the knees?  Think hard.  It will come to you.  Yep!  I have been watching TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress all day.  But, I am sad.  I am bored.  I am being avoided like the plague (again, literally) by my own family.  An outcast.

But I want to thank you, my dear reader.  My blog gave me a reprieve.  I felt wanted, and I had something to do for an hour.  I am down but not out! I shall return. I will win this war.

Today’s pearl – chicken soup.  It is a classic.  And this is all I got.

 

Photo by Cris Saur on Unsplash

The Thrill of the Hunt

/ Micki

Sometimes when I am planning to write about a pearl, I hesitate.  Do I want to share my treasure?  Will spilling the beans mean less in my bowl?  How generous am I really?  Well, if  you believe in the Peace Prayer of Saint Francis (see previous post), you must give to receive!  Plus, I am only kidding.  I gladly share this.

My favorite store is TJ Maxx.  When they went to online retail, https://tjmaxx.tjx.com,  my heart soared!  Here are a few of my tricks when you shop TJ Maxx online.

  1. You get free shipping at $89. However, if you sign up for e-mails, you will find that one day a month is free shipping with no minimum.
  2. You can return free at the store, OR ship back.  The receipt already has the return label. Use the same shipping box.  Voila!  Free of charge.
  3. Place things in your on-line shopping cart that you are considering.  When a free shipping day comes, you will not have to search again.

I hear skeptics say that they do not enjoy the hunt.  Who are you, and are you low in testosterone?  The hunt is the best part!  OK, do not go the night before a gala event and expect to find your gown.  Other than that, you will find amazing deals.  More than that, you will find some brands that top stores or boutiques carry for so much cheaper.

Here is an example of how TJ Maxx carries top brands.  I love NYDJ jeans.  They are quality.  They are made in the USA.  They tuck you in places that need tucking and somehow lift your rear end.  Ha!  Neiman Marcus has them on sale for $100.  TJ Maxx price is $39.99 – without waiting for a sale.

 

Screenshot-2-2725829078-1519355692674.png

 

Screenshot (3)

 

Besides clothing, I love their Home Department.  I see products from Le Creuset, KitchenAid, All Clad, and other top brands.  I don’t need many things these days, but once in a while, I jump on a gadget, a decoration, or a pillow that I find unique and incredibly priced.  “It was a deal!”  Words my husband has come to loathe.

Oh Lord, I have not even brought you up to speed on purses, jewelry, shoes, sunglasses, men’s clothes, or beauty products!  But, I think you are getting the picture.  Let’s just say, I find going to the TJ Maxx store, either in person or online – FUN!  Maybe even therapeutic.  No expectation, just surprises.

Did I put you in the mood for a pearl hunt?