Month: February 2018

This Could Have Gone Wrong!

/ Micki

I know my mind goes way too far.  I cannot help it.  I hope it is a sign of intelligence.  But, more likely, it is my warped humor.  Maybe I have a touch of hyperactivity that prevents me from stopping myself.  On the plus side, I get a great laugh while hoping the people around me find it funny, too.  Today was a close one.

This morning, I did not know the date.  I innocently asked the lovely older lady next to me if today was March 1st?  She replied that it was not.  It was, indeed, the 28th of February.  Great!  I gained a day!  I love when that happens!

Here is where I would like to stop and remind you that SHE continued the conversation.  I was willing to be content with her response and to continue on my way.

She then asked me, “Do you know how I know it is only the 28th, and not the 1st?”  OK.  I will bite but I refused to guess since I cannot win (another problem I have).

“How so?” I asked the sweet older lady who is probably going to tell me something weird.

“Tomorrow, March 1st, is my son’s birthday and my second son’s birthday is March 2nd!” she told me with pride.  Hmm.  Not weird, but interesting.  “AND,” she continued, “my third child was born in March, too!”

CLOSE THE DOOR!

Here is where my mind started racing.  How can this be?  The laws of probability have been broken!  (I did the math in my head – I told you I was intelligent.)  And here is where I just could not help myself – even if I wanted to.  “When is your anniversary?” I blurted out to this kind stranger, whom I have just met and I am now prying into her private life.

“In June,” she hesitantly told me as I believed her eyes are scanning the room for a quick exit – if need be.  Again, I did the math.  This time, not in my head, but loudly on my fingers.

“June, July, August, September”……finger nine…..”MARCH!!!!”

“You had anniversary babies!” I shouted.  Yes, little lady.  The jig is up!  You had SEX on your anniversary – regularly!  AND, now, everyone around us knows it, you petite harlot!!!  She blushed.

Then the regret set in.  I had to ask myself – are you proud of yourself, Jessica Fletcher?  You just outed a sweet, older lady who was just looking for small talk.  I had to take it all the way to the basement and imply she did the dirty deed with her dear husband.  I was then cringing, even said a quick “please, Lord” while waiting for a response.

“YES!  That is exactly it!!!!  And the first time we were in Hawaii!” she shouted back – even more loud than I!  She proudly owned it!  I love her!  I laughed.  She laughed.  I dodged a bullet.  I knew it.  I gave God a whispered “thank You” and the sweet lady and I parted ways.

Humor is always a pearl.  My advice, do not push it too far.  I think I will pull it back a little.  Just for a short time.  If my mind lets me!

Meeny, Miny, and Moe

/ Micki / 6 Comments

One of my followers, Pat, asked me to write about my kids.  The following is the truth, the whole, and nothing but the truth.  So help me, God.

These are my three boys.  Austin, Nate, and Jack.  They are amazing kids.  Austin, who is my AJ, is a first year law student at my alma mater – Indiana University.  Who could ask for more?  AJ is the perfect first child.  My middle son is Nate.  Nate is a senior and a finance major at the University of Dayton.  Nate is smart, sweet, and most importantly, he is striving to be employed upon graduation!  Finally, Jack.  Jack is my baby and a freshman in college.  He is a technical systems management major at the University of Illinois.  He is intelligent, charming, and confident.

These wonderful boys DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!  Sometimes, I don’t want to admit that they are mine.  That is when they are Meeny, Miny, and Moe.  Let me explain.  Meeny, aka AJ, is just that.  He can be high strung, argumentative, and he can be a meanie!  Perfect future lawyer.  Miny, aka Nate, sometimes thinks he is an FBI psychological profiler.  He has all the answers about how the universe works.  Miney asked me if my blog was “a cry for help?”  No LOL here.  Jack, aka Moe, is the perfect Moe!  At times you cannot make that boy do anything.  He moves at his own pace and he looks in the mirror constantly.

What else?  Well, there is the social drinking that more than challenges my comfort level.  And the cigars that get lit on those said drinking occasions. Finally, is the fighting.  Oh, the insults fly around the room like a ping-pong ball at breaking speed.  My favorites are:

  • “You will be living in my basement.”
  • “I will be buying your kids their Christmas presents.”
  • “Your wife will be in love with me.”
  • “22!”  (An inside joke that I will never reveal)

Yet, these boys are special.  They made it to college.  They are tight and love each other immensely.  They are good to me and to my husband.  They are hilarious.  They fight and they let it all go.  They are still maturing, so Meeny, Miny, and Moe show up less often with each passing year.  I am proud of them.  Three shiny pearls.  AJ, Nate, and Jack.

Still, help me, God!

A Corny Pearl – I Guess

/ Micki / 2 Comments

Whenever I create a post, I have a fear that what I am writing is super corny.  As a new writer, I want to please and inspire – to make you feel happy and enriched!  But sometimes life calls for a good brain freeze.  For me, that is watching the TLC channel!  It makes me drunk and eases my fears.  It puts my mind in an altered state of mush.  Warning – it can get addicting!

Let us start with Say Yes to the Dress.  This show is the king of TLC!  I watch it no matter how many times I have seen the episode. I am intrigued by the different personalities and enamored by the beautiful dresses.  Beading, lace, ruffles, feathers, chiffon, organza, and bling everywhere!  I love comparing wedding gowns and gasping at the price tags.  But my biggest buzz comes from Randy Fenoli!  I ADORE that man!  Randy is kind, sweet, accepting, spiffy, and down-to-earth.  I dream about bumping into Randy.  He says to me , “Hi, beautiful!”  And I blush like a chilled rosé wine.  I am that easy!

Next are the Hoarders and the 600 Pounders.  There is nothing that screams  to me, “You are not that bad!” than an episode of these poor souls.  Oh my gosh, am I going to say that?    I am, because it is true.  I feel skinny and organized when I watch these shows.  They make me feel fine – three pomegranate martinis fine!

Finally, there are all the rest.  The mediums, the polygamist, the little people, the Amish, the gypsies, and the honey boo boos.  I find them all fascinating!  I am SO ordinary, that it is almost sad.  These people are extraordinary!  They have a story to tell.  I am usually watching with my mouth wide open, especially when it comes to sharing a husband.  I love a good mind-blowing!  If I cannot have pina coladas or get caught in the rain, I want a TLC escape.

So, my apologies if some of my pearls are cheap or corny.  But a good binge on TLC may make you tipsy – without the hangover!

 

The Pearl that Bit Me!

/ Micki / 2 Comments

My junior year at Indiana University, I was living in a quaint white house with my best college friends.  I loved my college years, that white house, and Bloomington.  I arrived for my fall semester two weeks early.  During that two week party binge, I contracted non-infectious hepatitis from contaminated food.  It blew up my liver to three times its normal size.  I was young and healthy, and I made it through just fine.  However, since then, drinking alcohol has become like navigating a minefield.

After many trials over many years, I discover that my liver can only tolerate vodka or a good red wine.  If I drink anything else, I regret it with a bad stomach ache.  But darn it, I want to get buzzed on the newest microbrew or few Vegas Bombs once in a while!  Kind of a bummer.

A couple years ago, I was invited to an outdoor Halloween costume party in a pole barn.  It was a blast!  One of my friends offered me a shot of Patron tequila.  I downed the shot while my husband looked on with his head shaking.  “Why are you doing this?” shouted his glare to me.  Fifteen minutes later, I did not feel anything!  So I had another shot.  And another.  I was feeling great!  No pain and total control of my faculties.  In fact, I am the life of the party out on the dance floor!  I had moves that rivaled Beyoncé!  I did not feel pain, I did not even think I was buzzed!  Another shot.  Another shot.  “I found my new drink – tequila!” I shouted to my friends.  They laughed!  I danced the night away.

Then I walked back to the car.  Holy moly – my head was spinning.  My stomach ached.  My mouth had trouble forming words.  My peaceful, fun, and in-control state of mind went bye-bye.  This was going to get UGLY.  And it did.  From both ends volcanos erupted.  I spent the night on the bathroom floor pleading to sweet Jesus for mercy.  I was bedridden for the whole next day.  For several days, my pores oozed tequila as a stinky reminder of my foolishness.

So, tequila was a pearl that lasted just a few hours.  Then it bit me hard!  I love the song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off because it makes me feel like part of a club.  It is the “you do not control tequila – tequila controls you” club.  I’m a lifetime member.  Tequila will never hit my lips again.

For you, is tequila a pearl or not?

 

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash

Prayer For Comfort After Tragedy

/ Micki / 2 Comments

Out of Dark Comes Light

God, make me brave for life:
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain,
as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts,
let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.

Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.

Author Unknown

 

In wake of all the recent tragedies, this prayer has brought me some comfort.  I love prayers that are poems.  This prayer acknowledges the pain and sorrow that comes when life gets dark.  It asks God for braveness – which is courage in the face of fear.  Yes, I am afraid.  And deep down I know that light follows the dark, but sometimes I need the Lord to carry me through.

May all who have been touched by tragedy find the Light of the Lord again.  Amen.

 

Photo by Nick Scheerbart on Unsplash

A Piece of Summer

/ Micki

Some pearls come into my life kicking and screaming.  This is one of them.  With a looming snowstorm, I am taking no chances of being without food.  I go grocery shopping.  Heck, if I am going to be stuck in the house, there will be some goodies!  I have time for one store.  I choose Mariano’s.  It is my favorite grocery store and it has the most treats!

I know they have chicken on sale, and I plan on making chili.  Other than that, it is a treasure hunt.  Boom!  Bakery first.  I browse.  I’m looking for healthy.  I try to muster extreme self-control.  I fail.

Staring me in the face is a beautiful Pecan Praline Peach Pie.  I am taken a little aback.  Peaches are out of season.  But damn, this pie looks good!  Not only is the pie thick with peaches, the top crust is a blanket for praline pecans.  My mind is spinning!

The price of the pie is $9.99 – not on sale.  But jeez, I cannot make that pie for ten bucks!  That is my rationale, at least.  In the cart it goes.  While I am walking around the store, my good angel is telling me to put the pie back.  Ah, what does she know?  I may be locked in the house for a week!  It’s a good deal!  My husband will help me eat it!  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  My mind is still spinning.  The pie comes home!

Please, Lord, let this pie be worth all this mental torture – and all the calories.

A large piece of pie comes out of the tin perfectly.  I add a swirl of whip cream.  Again, the pie is deep and filled high with sweet and ripe peaches.  The crust is perfection.  Flaky, buttery – the kind you eat the whole thing without leaving the end crust.  The pecans are like candied jewels.  Just enough to make the pie special, and make me moan while I am eating it.

No surprise – I recommend this pie!  It is worth it!  It is a fine pearl to find in February during a blustery snowstorm.  It took me back to August, at the beach, on a picnic – for at least five minutes!  Thank you, Mariano’s!  Sorry, good angel – better luck next time!

Who is Right?

/ Micki / 2 Comments

I had three boys in a five year period.  You may gasp at the thought, but it is the biggest blessing in my life.  There were days when I felt overwhelmed – those ugly puking and diarrhea days.  Otherwise, those munchkins made me laugh and smile everyday.  And this one particular day was very special.

I am picking the boys up from school.  They were young – fourth grade, second grade, and pre-school.  They are all buckled in the back seat –  three across.  I am mommy chauffeur!  A very serious discussion breaks out between the boys and I decide to only listen.  Conversations between young kids are hilarious.  But little did I know, I am about to hear some profound wisdom.

The youngest, Jack, announces that another boy is hitting him on the playground everyday, and he is very angry.  “What should I do?” asks Jack.  Austin, my oldest, does not hesitate to give the following advice.  “If you ask mom, she will say ‘talk it out.’  If you ask Dad, he will tell you to hit him back!”

I almost crash the car!  That is just too funny!  I am astounded he knows his two options.  Also, he is totally correct that I would encourage a non-violent  tête-à-tête between two school comrades.  He is also correct that my husband would offer enemy retaliation as a solution.  I am stumped.  I have to think about this before I respond.

It was the first time I realized that moms and dads sometimes offer a different perspective on life.  Was I right this time?  I think so!  But I did learn that sometimes kids should stand up for themselves.  “Set the tone early that you will not be bullied!” is my husband’s rationale.  And he is right, too.  I see that boys and girls benefit from the feminine and masculine perspectives.

A child’s life is enriched not only by their mom and dad, but by grandparents, relatives, good friends, and trusted caregivers.  It is a blessing when children have a small tribe of loved ones in their lives.  There may sometimes be conflicting messages, but that is a part of life.  We spend our whole life navigating right and wrong and the gray that exists.  It is a true pearl to gift children with many positive influences!

But, I still think I was right!  Do you?

Photo by Brigitta Schneiter on Unsplash

A Tribute To My Vegan Friends

/ Micki / 2 Comments

When I post a recipe or swoon about food, there is a nagging itch in my brain.  It is an uncomfortable itch.  I know that some of my vegan friends read my blog.  It hurts me to think that I may be hurting them.  To my vegan friends, I would like to say the following:

You are right.  The most compassionate, sustainable, and healthy way of eating is plant-based. You have made me aware of the many atrocities against animals and you have softened my heart.  I admire your sensitivity and your message resonates in my soul.  Even though I may not be vegan, you have accomplished to make me think and desire to do better.  I ultimately see myself becoming 75% vegan as I strive to make better choices.  I hope you see that as a victory.  In truth, that may be the best I can do.  But one thing I can say for sure is that I respect you and never wish to offend you.  Keep educating – you are making change!

I hope someday we live in a vegan world.

Photo by Tiago Faifa on Unsplash

A Swoon Master!

/ Micki

My kids call me “Big Mike.”  I will let you guess the origin of that term of endearment!   I do not mind.  I was born loving food and I am proud.  My mom was an amazing cook and dessert maker.  She grocery shopped and made food everyday.  Everyday.  I had no idea how blessed I was until I had a family to feed.  Now here I am – showing my love with food.  I do get a buzz when my boys swoon over something I make.  THIS DESSERT IS A SWOON MASTER!  It comes from Paula Deen.

This recipe is good for a potluck or a holiday.  It makes 20 servings.  It is very, very rich so most people take one square at a time.  Warning – this recipe is getting around.  Buy the Pepperidge Farm’s Chessman cookies a few days in advance of a holiday.  They run out fast and there is no good substitute.  The result is so pretty!  I use a 9 x 13 glass Pyrex dish.  Four cookies across and five cookies down – so you can map it out.  I tweaked a few things to fit my preferences, but you should  start with the original recipe first.

Hey, try this for Easter!  I bet this becomes one of your signature dishes – as it has become one of mine.  Good thing it is an easy pearl!

Here is the link with a video!

Not Yo’ Mama’s Banana Pudding

 

The Peace Prayer

/ Micki

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

I believe The Peace Prayer of Saint Francis is one of the most humble prayers ever written.  I love saying the prayer and I love hearing the prayer in song.  For as long as I can remember, I have known this prayer.  When I was young, I would recite it.  But as I learned to say prayers with understanding and conviction, I realized this prayer’s perfection.

The very first line – Lord make me and instrument of your peace – is an awesome request.  It says, Lord, use me –  I am choosing to do your work.   The prayer does not ask for something for myself – only help to give of myself.  Quite different from other prayers.

The second part of the prayer is also a request.  It basically says – Lord, help me put others first.   Even though I may need to be consoled, understood, and loved – help me not to seek it for myself.  Help me give it to others.  The prayer seeks strength to be a giver!

The next part of the prayer explains a universal truth.  When we give, we receive.  Our peace and bounty comes only when we give!  To get God’s peace, we must give it away.  To receive forgiveness, we must forgive.  Our happiness depends on how much we give!

Finally, the prayer ends with the ultimate truth.  When we die, we live!  The body dies, the soul lives on.  There is great reward when we give our last breath!

This prayer is asking for the strength to be like Jesus.  Jesus was a peacemaker.  Jesus gave to others.  Jesus died and was born again.  Saint Francis lived this prayer.  I want to live this prayer.

What a pearl.