Month: January 2018

I am Special – Just the Way I am

/ Micki / 2 Comments

Lately, there has been many tributes to Fred Rogers on social media.  As a child born in the late 1960s, I was an avid television “neighbor” of Mister Rogers. Thankfully, there was only one channel on TV that offered children’s television. In Chicago, it was PBS Channel 11.   I really had no choice but to watch Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.  It came on after Sesame Street and Electric Company.  Boy was I blessed!  I grew to admire Mister Fred Rogers for many reasons.  He helped shape a very young Micki.

First, Mister Rogers spoke differently.  He talked very slowly, and he looked me straight in the eye.  Who does that?  No adult in the life of a young Micki!  In Chicago, we talk fast.  Also, no adult ever talked to me for a WHOLE half an hour.  Teacher taught, parents parented, but I felt pretty much invisible to adults.  And, let’s be honest, there was no such thing as “hands-on” parenting in the 1970s.  I was the seventh of eight children.  My struggle for attention was real.  So, to be engaged with the gentle soul of Fred Rogers every day did feel different.  It felt wholesomely intimate.

Second, Mister Rogers insisted, even persisted, that I was special just the way I was.  What does that mean, crazy man?  I was a nothing – a blob of clay – a mere child.  But when an adult looks you in the eye everyday, seems to care, and tells you that you are special, it starts to sink in.  Believe me, it just does.

Finally, Mister Rogers made me more aware of feelings.  He was passionate about feelings.  He would ask if a “certain scenario” made me feel angry? or afraid? or happy? or confused?  He encouraged me to talk to my mom or dad about my feelings.  It was OK to have feelings! Again, who says such crazy things?  I was a good catholic school girl.  I was to either feel happy or guilty, but most importantly, I was to remain silent and not bother the adults.

You see, Mister Rogers made me feel like a special person with feelings.  I felt like an equal soul to his because that was the way he treated me.  To a child, that feels amazing.  Even today when I talk to a young person, I get on their level, I look them in their eyes, I ask questions about them, and I inquire about how they feel.  I learned that from Mister Rogers and it works.

You were a great neighbor, Mister Rogers.  A pearl of a neighbor!

The Biggest Pearl of Them All

/ Micki / 7 Comments

I am writing this post in haste.  Forgive me if it does not flow well, but I feel like I am running a race.   You see, my dad may not be doing well.  He is having some symptoms that seem serious to me.  At 94 years old, everyday my dad lives he is spitting death in the eye – taunting death to put up a losing fight.  I am convinced that my dad wears secret boxing gloves, and that he is the world’s heavyweight champion.  I get a special thrill to say, “my dad is 94!” – and I don’t want it to end.

I made a promise to my son that I would pay tribute to “Grandpa Bud” on my blog using the present tense.  Since that promise, I knew that I needed to get writing, but I did not know where to begin.  How do I write about someone who has meant everything to me and do it justice?  I cannot, but I will try to get at a few words out there.

My dad’s life is literally a book.  As a young boy growing up in the Depression, he supported his family by passing the newspaper.  His mother would cry when he handed her his weekly salary.  My dad lost his mom as a teenager to epilepsy.  Shortly thereafter, he enlisted in the army to fight WWII.  He was a bridge builder and was in France and Germany.  He made it home and met my mom.  They married in 1949 – on my mom’s golden birthday.  Dad became an electrician and worked at US Steel.  His compassion for workers led him to become a union leader.  He once threatened management to a full-mill shutdown.  He won.  In the meantime, along came eight children.  He survived losing his wife and a son (“the hardest thing I’ve ever done”) and he lives on his own. He battles health issues, mainly a very bad back that has hurt since 1942.  Is your head spinning yet?

There is so much about my dad.  The wisdom in his body makes him a giant.  Whenever I walk into my dad’s house, I am greeted by a huge smile and a “Hi, Mick!”  It is mind blowing.  Always a positive attitude – never complaining.  He recently said “I am ready to go look for your mom.”  What a loving, poetic way to say that he is coming to an end.  My dad tells me that “tomorrow always comes,” – not to let life’s trials bring me down.  His faith in God is unwavering.  My dad is an expert on fighting life’s trials. He is the reigning heavyweight champion.

Please pray for my dad.  Whatever happens, I know I will be writing about my dad for the rest of my life.  He has bestowed on me so many pearls that I will have to give them out a little at a time.  That makes him the biggest pearl of all.

Thayer Brothers Deli

/ Micki / 1 Comment

I bet you all knew this was coming!  It is no secret that I am a huge fan of Thayer Brothers Deli  on six corners, in Joliet, Illinois.  To bring you up to speed, the beautiful older woman, who will greet you when you arrive, is Mrs. Anne Thayer.  She is my aunt – my late mom’s sister.  I grew up calling her “Aunt Anna Mae.”  The owner is my cousin, Rick Thayer – more like a brother to me – and always “Ricky.”  So yes, I am biased.  But, hand to God, the food is so good and will take you back in time.

Eating at Thayer Brothers, with Aunt Anna Mae sitting next to me, has been a gift from heaven.  Since my mom passed away, my aunt has been my surrogate mother.  When I talk to Anna Mae, I see my mom in her eyes and experience my mom in her mannerisms.  When I ask her advice, I am confident it will be exactly what my mom would say.  Anna Mae encourages me to keep my strong faith in God, just like my mom.  Funny thing, she adores my husband, John, just like my mom did!  You see, going to Thayer Brothers is like sitting in my mom’s kitchen – including the homemade food!

Back to the food.  The daily soup and specials are made by my aunt each day.  Stuffed cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, meatloaf, lasagna, pork chops, salmon, white fish, and more, make appearances on the specials menu often. Fridays are special because the menu includes cod fish dinners – perfect during Lent!  The soup is a must starter to your meal.  Soups are homemade, rich with ingredients and a complex broth.  I love soup in the winter and even love it in the summer!

The menu items are awesome, too.  The poorboy is a real steak tenderized in the kitchen.  The beef sandwich is stellar.  The hamburgers are hand-formed and made to order.  Nachos, onion rings, and fries are hand-cut.  The Reuben sandwich will be authentic with sauerkraut and Russian dressing on Milano marble rye bread.  Pasta salad and coleslaw garnish your plate – these are homemade too!

Follow Thayer Brothers Deli on Facebook.  You will be able to see the posted daily specials.  This is the link:  https://www.facebook.com/thayerbrothers.deli

When you do go, pull up a chair for Mrs. Thayer and tell her how you know me.  She will love it!  She will visit with you like she was your aunt.  That is the secret of Thayer Brothers.  The food is outstanding, and the warmth you will receive by the owners, and the warmth you will create yourself by supporting a local family, will make it a pearl experience!

Love you, mom.

The Post – OMG!

/ Micki

Listen, I am not a movie critic.  I write this post reluctantly because I am below a novice in the art of reviewing.  But, I do feel the need to share just how much I enjoyed The Post.  It surprised me, and I love being surprised! This movie experience definitely qualifies as a “pearl.”

First, what did not surprise me?  The artistic performance of Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks.  They are icons.  They are my heroes.  I know I am going to look into the eyes of their characters and feel the emotion – believe the emotion – understand the emotion.

What did surprise me?  I was taken off guard by just how many feelings were stirred inside of me.  The topic of the Vietnam War always puts me in a somber mood.  I feel like crying whenever I see our boys being picked off one by one in the jungle.  Learning that the war was deemed unwinnable many years before it ended, and how it was covered up, made me angry.  Anger turned into love for my country learning there were people willing to risk everything to fight for the freedom of speech.  I was proud of our Founding Fathers and the wisdom they bestowed when writing our Constitution.  I also felt grateful.  Grateful for how far our country has come in the advancement of women, and thankful for women like Katharine Graham who helped pave the way.

Yes, I was emotionally exhausted after the movie.  I was thrilled to learn a part of American history – the good and the bad.  I was enthralled by being transported to 1971. I was grateful to be reminded of the importance of freedom of speech and freedom of the press.  I was excited to feel patriotic. Mostly, I was happy that I experienced the The Post.

So, just go, and see if you are surprised, too!

Decadent Alfredo

/ Micki / 2 Comments

How can something so rich be so easy to make?  Alright!  Quiet!  I know Alfredo is a million calories and  practically a heart stopper!  I only lovingly make Alfredo TWICE a year.  I also make it as a side dish and pair it with something light, like chicken breast, salmon, or a butterfly pork chop. A simple vinaigrette salad, and, as Dean Martin croons – “That’s Amore!”  When I make Alfredo, my boys think I am a Venus of the kitchen. Their love pours out and I drink it in like a fine chianti.

Decadent Alfredo Sauce

  • One stick of butter
  • 8 oz. brick of softened cream cheese
  • One quart of Half and Half
  • 8 oz. of good parmesan cheese
  • garlic
  • salt and pepper to taste

The trick to this recipe is a nice, large saucepan with a heavy bottom and a whisk.

On medium heat, melt butter with the garlic.  The garlic can be fresh, in the tube or jar, or even powder.  I would use a tablespoon of crushed garlic or a teaspoon of powder.  Add the cream cheese and keep whisking until the butter and cream cheese mix and start to gently bubble.  Add the half and half a quarter at a time while whisking the whole time.  This will become a nice sauce that should also start to gently bubble.  Add the parmesan cheese and whisk until it is melted and smooth.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Fold in your cooked al dente pasta of choice right into the saucepan.  My favorite pasta is  Barilla Protein Pasta in farfalle or angel hair.  Garnish with a sprinkle of parmesan and/or fresh chopped parsley.

I hope you find the right opportunity to try this recipe.  Maybe Valentine’s Day!  When used as a side dish with a delicate meat or seafood and a simple salad, the richness is moderated.  But really, who cares!  It is a special-occasion dish and I know the love for you will flow if you make this!

Salute!

On Facing Sadness and Anger

/ Micki / 1 Comment

 

Recently, many of my friends have experienced the loss of a close loved one.  Parents, spouses, and even very young souls.  I find myself with no words of comfort to give.  The grief and the anger are intense.  I know, I lost my mom and brother.

“Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always take strength, not weakness.  It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets.  It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and anger flow into tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and reach out for help and comfort when we need it.'”                                   – Fred Rogers                

For all who are grieving, express it.  If you are overwhelmed and need help, ask for it.  God is with you.

I read the following poem, by Henry Scott Holland, at my father-in-law’s funeral.  I find so much comfort in it.  It presents death as I believe it is – a transition but not an ending.

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one together with our Creator.

 

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Introducing Poke!

/ Micki / 2 Comments

My best friend, Karen, lives in Burlingame, near San Francisco.  I am blessed to be able to visit her yearly.  Each trip to  San Francisco succeeds at introducing me to something new.  This was the year of Poke!  Karen tells me that Poke, pronounced “POH-keh,”   restaurants have been popping up everywhere. Each community by her seems to have at least two locations.  To me, Poke tastes like precious sushi in a bowl, customized to each person’s preference.  It is heaven in a dish – food of the gods.  Each day on my visit, I craved Poke.

What exactly is Poke

While Poke may seem like a new food trend, it has been a mainstay in Hawaii for centuries.  The bowl starts with a base – either jasmine rice or lettuce greens.  Next you choose a protein – usually tuna, salmon, or shrimp.  Next comes the toppings of your choosing.  In Burlingame, you picked toppings out like you were in line at a Subway restaurant.  To me, the more the better!  The final step is a choice of sauces.

The poke bowl in the picture?

That lovely Poke bowl above was my order at OTOBO Sushi Bar and Restaurant near me in Bolingbrook, Illinois. Yep, that’s right.  A beautiful Poke bowl in the south Chicago suburbs!  My Poke bowl consisted of sushi rice, ahi tuna,  avocado, mango, shiitake, seaweed salad, edamame, sweet potato crunchy and creamy ginger sauce.  Price is $12.

It is my prediction that Poke will continue to spread its Hawaiian loveliness everywhere.  Poke is healthy, and it is as addictive as crack cocaine.  Hope you try it soon!

Ladybird and Brooklyn

/ Micki / 2 Comments

I have become a big fan of actor Saoirse Ronan.  I have seen her in Brooklyn and yesterday in Ladybird.  Both times she makes her character so real.  What I find most interesting about Ronan is that her face does so much of the acting.  I love that.  She truly absorbs the character and I find myself watching her intensely.

Ladybird

Ladybird is a coming of age movie about Christine McPherson who renames herself “Ladybird.”  The movie takes us through Ladybird’s senior year of Catholic high school.  Ladybird’s family financially struggles which makes her feel a little out of place at a private school. She is that girl who is restless, outspoken, creative, and just knows there is something more for her out there in the world to grab.  The relationship with her mother is complex – loving, yet difficult, and sometimes borderline abusive.  Laurie Metcalf does a wonderful job playing the part of a hardworking mom who has done a better job than her mom, but struggles to give Ladybird the kind of love that a teenage girl looks for in a mom. The next character in the movie is the city of Sacramento and Ladybird’s love/hate relationship with her hometown.  The movie Ladybird does not try to make a strong statement about anything.  It tells a lovely story of a girl turning into a woman and all the pitfalls that transition entails.

Brooklyn

Ahhhh, Brooklyn.  Probably my most favorite recent move.  I have watched it at least five times!  It is a beautiful layered story of a young immigrant girl who leaves 1950’s Ireland to find a better life.  Saoirse Ronan plays the role of Eilis Lacey brilliantly.  Again, her facial acting drives home her emotions.  It is a story of loneliness, love, and responsibility.  Eilis finds herself torn between her past and her future – her hometown and the new life she struggled to create.  The cinematography and costumes are incredible.  This movie truly transforms you back in time – in Hollywood romantic fashion.

Ladybird and Brooklyn both tell a story of a young girl’s transition into her future. Both movies relay the common struggle between the good and the bad of one’s hometown.  One takes place in 2003, and one takes place in 1953.  One is low budget, one is not.  Both have the talented Saoirse Ronan playing the lead.  My recommendation – see both – but for sure see Brooklyn.

 

 

Go More Often

/ Micki / 3 Comments

Ok.  I was having a “situation.”  It seemed like I could not get to the bathroom fast enough.  I would stand up and start walking to the rest room.  That walk became a jog…the jog became a run…the run became a sprint!  The whole time my hands are furiously working on my button and zipper.  You get the picture.

I am convinced I have a problem.  I watch T.V. –  I need one of those overactive bladder pills cleverly advertised for people like me.  Fortunately, my brother, Jim, is a urologist.  Unfortunately, I have to spell it out to him.  Its not easy to talk bathroom issues with your big brother.

I sheepishly tell him the story.  The bathroom always seems to be ten feet too far.  I tell him of the struggle with my pants, the hopping and the holding, the praying and the agony.  “Write me a prescription – I’ve turned into mom!”  Jim listens calmly, and then says to me, “Go more often.”

What?  That’s it?  Go more often?  Yes!  I am waiting too long.  And guess what?  He was right.  And then it dawned on me.  How easy I was convinced I needed medication.  I bought into that T.V. commercial like the perfect consumer – a marketer’s dream.

Listen, I am not a doctor.  I am not giving any advice on medicine except this – do not walk, jog, run, or sprint to any awful conclusions.  The answer may be as simple as “Go more often.”

 

Photo by Maira Gallardo on Unsplash

 

 

Put on Your Armor

/ Micki / 4 Comments

I admit, I can be impulsive. The idea to create this “pearl” blog came quickly and I jumped in with both feet.  Also, I am FIFTY.  Technology does not come naturally and I struggle to put this blog together.  But with ignorance comes opportunity, and I did not have time to be afraid.

Until two days later…..fear launched an attack!  When I told my youngest son I started a blog, his response was “EW!”  Typical teenager.  I laughed at  first, and then it made me feel vulnerable.  My words and ideas will be judged.  Whoa.

But do you see that clever photo above?  That lovely box of pearls?  I downloaded it ALL BY MYSELF!  I am learning a new skill.  I am sharing a part of myself.  I want to learn more.  And being fifty?  I wear that like armor to battle fear.  It protects my heart from being hurt by judgement.  I am too wise by now to care about what everybody thinks.

Put on your armor.

 

Photo by Cornelia Ng on Unsplash

 

Introducing – The Pearl Chaser!

/ Micki / 1 Comment

It is a cold and blustery January evening.  I am watching “Say Yes to the Dress” for the umpteenth time.  And then it hits me.  I must do more!  I have all these fun things in my head that I want to share!  I am a decent writer.  I know I can be even better if I practiced.  I start a blog.  Yay me!  Watch out, world!